I was speaking with a couple about the emergence of the feminine in the woman. She had been traumatized sexually and was reluctant, even now, many decades later, to be vulnerable and open to her husband. But it was happening. A new, deeper and softer approach to intimacy was suggested to them, by myself, in order to save their marriage and get them in energetic touch with each other again. 

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It had taken the possibility that he would leave her, to get her to finally try to open herself once more to him sexually. 

 

At one point she noted that we see on social media various messages to women about being tough and independent. I began to explain that this is a superficial and merely cognitive approach to empowerment.

 

An empowered woman does not make reactive, adolescent statements about not needing anyone. She has integrated and accepted her natural femininity, which means a love for intimacy and connection. This allows her to come into contact with the positive masculine -- both within her and in her man.

She becomes strong not through rigidity or reactivity but through clarity of consciousness. Strength always means a combination of love and wisdom. Love, to accept what is good and beautiful. Wisdom, to reject the many substitutes for these which the world, or man, will offer her. 

 

We discussed women's supposed struggle with a patriarchy. An empowered woman does not find herself up against an intractable patriarchy all the time. She relates to her husband, and to the world, as it is in each moment. She may encounter unconscious, reactive men and women around her. The right name is not patriarchy. It is unconsciousness, rudeness, insensitivity. 

 

Most importantly, she has overcome her own self-rejection and self-doubt. She has not allowed herself to become entirely hardened and rigidified by her wounding; she is not animus-ridden, resentful and angry. She has allowed for healing to bring softness inside but also strength. 

 

We talked about the archetype of the Queen. The Queen is gracious, feminine and also strong. She does not walk around with a sword but she carries a hidden dagger. The dagger symbolizes the self-protective capacity for aggression, and for making a discernment, a slice, between one thing and another. It is there when she needs it. A conscious and empowered woman does not wave a sword around like a penis, nor does she have an axe to grind.